It's the time of the year when kids take home their examination scripts or report books. What is your first response? Do you zoom into those subjects that they have not done well? Do you start scolding them for not doing well? Do you compare their results against the results of other children? Or do you zoom into the areas that they have improved in and start praising them? Do you analyse and identify what has gone wrong and what can be done?
According to Maslow's hierarchy of needs, our esteem needs (confidence, self-esteem, achievement etc) have to be satisfied. All of us feel good when we are praised by our bosses for submitting a well-written report or for handling a project well. We also feel happy when our friends comment that we look good in an outfit or with a new hairdo. The child behaves in the same way. In fact, the words that we use when we talk to a child has a great impact on him. Have you noticed the glow of happiness on your child's praise when you praise him for something good that he has done?
Hence, when your kids take home their examination scripts in a few days' time, instead of just zooming into what your child has not done well in, you could focus on the subjects or questions in the paper that he has done well in. Perhaps there are a few Math questions that he did not know during the revision period. However, he has understood them and is now able to solve those questions during the examination, shouldn't we recognise his efforts and celebrate his success?
I am not saying that we should not review the areas or subjects that the kids have not done well in. What I am suggesting is that celebrate their success (big or small) first. Then we look through the areas for improvement and discuss with the child how we can address the areas of improvement. The child will be more receptive as he knows that you are fair and give him due recognition for areas that he has done well or shown improvement in.
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